A Taste of Indian Culture

Namaste!

I must begin by saying how encouraging it is that so many of you are actually reading this. It brings me joy for 3 reasons:

1 - It takes me along time to do.

2 – India is amazing and I am so excited that all of you can come on this adventure with me.

3 – There are many things here which evoke a variety of emotions and I hope that reading this blog will encourage you, entertain you, perhaps make you laugh, but most importantly; I hope it causes you to consider your world views and be willing to challenge you assumptions.

In this post and those following, I plan to describe not only what I see and how I feel, but what it makes me think. I am apprehensive about doing so because many of my ideas are nascent. They are most certainly observations and questions rather than conclusions. While I would love to delve into them immediately, I think you would understand my thoughts far better if I begin with more descriptions of the culture. I am sure you will enjoy the following J

1. Indians have little concept of personal space.

Consider: It is estimated that this July, the population of India will be 1.17 billion people and all those people live on 3,287,263 square km. That is 0.0028 square km per person or 3.06 square yards. The United States is estimated to have 310,232,863 people and they live on 9,826,675 square km. That is 0.0317 square km per person or 34.66 yards. This means the average American enjoys 11.23 times the space of the average Indian. When you’re in a store in India, people just bump into you with little thought. At the market, a busy shopper doesn’t think twice before pushing their way in between you and your friend to get a better view of the bangles. Once at Big Bazaar (Indian Walmart) I was in line with my friend waiting to make our purchases. We had removed our groceries from the cart and as they were being rung up by the cashier, the man behind me reached over my shoulder and placed his items in my cart. When my friend, who is Indian, inquired as to his reasoning, he said we were going to get bags after checking out and couldn’t removed the cart from the store, therefore he would keep his good in our cart so he didn’t have to hold them anymore. I was thoroughly amused!

This ease with exceedingly close proximities is also evident in driving. Whether traveling by car, bus, bicycle, auto rickshaw, cycle rickshaw or foot, people pass one another at wild speeds without as much as a second glance. Honking has a number of meanings. It could mean; “just so you know, I’m here.” or “I’m coming, and it’s most likely I won’t stop so you’d best move.” For either reason everyone honks all the time if there is anyone remotely close. Often the honking elicits little response from those around or just a slight shift in the desired direction. I knew I was becoming comfortable with the traffic when I was crossing a street in Sonia Vihar. I saw a van approaching from my side and as it nearly touched me I simply help up my hand without a second glance and calmly proceeded on my way. A few moments later a motorcycle honked behind me and I jumped. My newly acquired Indian confidence was shattered. J

Another amusing tidbit is that when people want you to move they simply say “side.” In our little house my brother Daniel is constantly saying “Liana, side.” It makes me smile every time.

2. Food is a ritual, just as much as a means of survival.

In India there is a difference between “Food” kanna and “snack” snack or tasty treat. Here it is expected that you eat three meals a day and you must finish all your food. Meals mean some sort of lentils dal or beans (which have many names, my favorite is red beans called Rajma but channa or chole, cooked chickpeas is also pretty awesome) and rice or parantha, a flatbread. There is often some kind of subji which is cooked vegetables with onions, ALWAYS onions, and often potatoes and many amazing spices. There is often some dairy too like curd or paneer cheese. Breakfast is usually lighter but there is always some sort of subji for breakfast, mostly eaten with prantha but I eat it with rice since I’m gluten intolerant.

Times of eating are very important and everyone eats together. People usually eat with their hands but using a spoon is not considered unusual. I have become quite a fan of eating with my hands. I think the more senses involved in an experience the better it is and there is something about mashing your food together with your hand that makes it taste much better. Don’t be surprised if you come over and see me eating my rice and dal with my hands J. The right hand is always used to eat. Using the left is considered unclean since in the villages people use their left hand instead of toilet paper. (People in Delhi use water instead of toilet paper but I’ll talk more about that later).

During meals people talk for a long time. At work we all wait for eachother before we start eating and everyone sits around and talks. This is considered part of the work day. Food is made at the office and everyone pays Rs. 100 per week which is a subsidized rate but food is also vastly less expensive than in the states. That works out to about $0.45 for me. Awesome. Sometimes people bring food from home and those who do often share with others so I’ve gotten to try a number of tasty things. I love the family style laid back environment that prevails even at work. Everyone laughs and enjoys the time until they are done eating.

People also eat VERY large portions. It’s no unusual for someone to take about 2 cups of rice, a bunch of dal and subji and then go back for seconds and that is for a thin person. Also, it is unacceptable to leave ANYTHING on your plate and it is considered very strange if you don’t eat a lot. People are always asking me why I’m not eating more but when it’s so hot I’m just not as hungry. If you are at someone’s house they will be offended if you don’t take a lot of food and finish all of it then go for seconds. If given the chance they’ll heap the food on your plate themselves.

If you don’t eat a meal it is considered that you didn’t eat. Snacks don’t count. Often in the US we’ll have some veggies and hummus or a smoothie or something and not be hungry for dinner but here, that is unacceptable. If you had 10 snacks it still would be expected for you to eat because you haven’t had food, just “snacks.”

There are so many little stalls on the roads near the homes both in Sonia Vihar and where I live. There are women who sit on the ground with a little stone fire and roast corn on it then they squeeze some lime juice and a few spices on it and you eat if right off the cob. I LOVE that. There is also tons of fresh fruit; melons, apples, different kinds of bananas, plums, peaches, pears and over 100 different types of mangos. There is even a one kind that you squish around then bight and hole in the top and suck out all the pulp and juice because it’s so soft. Only after all the insides are gone do you then eat the peel. (I actually stay far away from this kind because I’m severely allergic to the outside of a mango which has the same properties as poison oak. I break out in a rash. I have to peel it and put in a bowl then eat it. However, it’s ALWAYS worth the extra work because these mangos are fantastic).

Usually we have breakfast around 8am, lunch between 1:30 and 2:30 and dinner sometime after 8:30. Eating dinner so late can make it hard to get up but I think I talked about those challenges in the last blog. Another big difference is the freshness of the food. Because refrigerators are not reliable here due to the frequency of the power cuts, people rarely keep food for more than a day. For the most part they buy the vegetables they want to use that day and they always but the dairy products right before they make the food. There area always a number of stands and small shops close by so getting the needed items isn’t very challenging. I could go on and on about the different types of food and the traditions therein but I have little time. Food however, is an extremely large part of Indian culture and is very important to them.

3. Visitors and Elders are honored

In the Hindu religion, visitors are considered incarnations of God. For this reason they are treated very well. A visitor is always given the best seat and the one closest to the fan, sometimes it is the only seat and the family will sit on the floor. They are always at least offered water and often chai. When I am doing interviews in the field if I say I just had chai at the house before and don’t want any they say “Just one cup. One cup. I make.” If it’s not chai its “cool drink” which is soda, sometimes both. The kinds of soda here are Coke, Pepsi, Limka (a lemon soda), Slice and Mazza which are mango juice drinks and a few others but those are the main ones. About a quarter of the time people also bring out “mixture” which is any of a number of different sack mixes. They are SO GOOD and spicy and they are brought out in a little bowl with a spoon. You spoon it into your hand and then take pinches and put it in your mouth. They will also bring out roasted chickpeas or biscuits to eat with your chai. The other day we visited 15 people and I had 6 cold drinks and 3 cups of chai and a bunch of mixture. I really don’t like soda very much but once they bring it out, you have no choice but to drink it or risk severely offending them. It is considered extremely rude, not to mention these people don’t have very much money and just sent their child to the little shop next door to get it for you. That was my longest day in the field visiting people, walking between houses, from 10 until 4:30 and it was about 113 degrees.

I think this is one of my favorite things about India. The respect. In addition to visitors there is much respect for people older than you and those you interact with on a regular basis. It is interesting to notice the difference between how people treat those they know and those they don’t. Perhaps it is because there are so many people it is difficult to give everyone space or kindly acknowledge them as they walk down the street but for the most part Indians ignore those around them (unless of course you are foreign then they stare at you unashamed) and don’t say thank you. But when you know someone then you treat them with great respect. Women older than you are always called didi which means sister but only if they are older than you and are young and called Aunty if they are say, above 30. Any woman is Aunty as soon as you’ve met her and men are Uncle. You can also add Ji to the end of their name. The guy who drives our van to work everyday calls me LianaJi and sometimes he calls me Liana Didi which makes me feel a bit embarrassed because he is putting me at the same level as him even though he is probably over 60. Being a foreigner makes you automatically more respected. People in Delhi view the west less warily than those in the villages, instead they are more amazed an in awe.

I think I love this so much because I so quickly feel a part of someone’s family. They always want me to come back and are so excited for any visitors. Of course it’s more because I am foreign but they treat anyone who comes to their home with similar respect. I have so much fun with these families. Even though they have so little the human connection is such a treasure…more on that in later postes.

Within families the children are trained to respect their parents and visitors so when any visitor walks in they automatically bring tunda panni, cold water, while their parents talk with you. When parents are sitting in the front room and someone comes to the door, they will call their children who will come answer the door so they don’t have to get up. It’s automatic.

4. India is a country of passion

Everything in India is extreme. The weather is very hot, there are tons of people, the clothing is super colorful, many people are very poor, many are very rich, the people are very loving and VERY straight forward, there is tons of music… everything is just a lot. I spoke with my papa, Santosh, and I asked him why, in a country with arranged marriages, are all their movies and TV shows about love? He said that Indian people are passionate and they love to feel the romance and dream of it. For many, romance is not their reality but they enjoy it anyway. I spoke with someone else and they said that life is difficult in India, so people need a way to escape to a better place for a little while. Sometimes the lives depicted in the movies do not end as perfectly as we would like, but they are always full of drama, color and passion.

5. Your business is not your own

On a similar note, people are very involved in each other’s lives, for better or worse. They know exactly what’s going on and have no problem telling you when they feel you are not acting the way you should. I am finding that in India, I have many chances to grow in my security. The other day for example, Chelsea came with me to work and during lunch they were teaching us Hindi. They had no problem pointing out mater-of-factly, “Chelsea learns Hindi much faster than Liana.” Thanks guys, thanks. Another example: I didn’t know that your salwaar (loose pants) and dupata/chunni (the long scarf looking thing you wear around your neck hanging down the back) MUST match each other. I thought as long as the colors matched the kurta (long shirt) you were good. But I figured it out when a number of people told me I didn’t look good when I wore brown salwaar with a red kurta and chunni. At least you are quickly able to fix mistakes rather then walking around looking foolish and without being told. That being said, I am sure this openness of opinion as well as confidence in the correctness of one’s opinion can make things very challenging for more free-thinking individuals. But, I will discuss this more later in the analytical posts J.

6. Body Image and Movie Stars

The perception of weight and health are very different here. If someone is gaining weight they just say, “your getting fat,” and the person nods. Also, you notice that many people both on the street and especially on TV are every shape and size. In American cinema and television programming most people are white or black with some Asians and they are almost always thin. Here in cinema and TV, parents and grandparents are always heavy and the women often thicker than those you would see in American media. There are few very skinny women on TV and there are a number of relatively heavy ones. For the most part, the men are thin or buff but there are a few stars who have a bit of a belly and they are loved just as passionately as the body builder looking ones. And not in the way Jack Black is loved as just being comical. People think they are very good looking.

Here people are obsessed with movies, television and music. Much of the music is from the Bollywood movies but there is also tons of other music and people love all of it. Most of the Auto Rickshaws we ride in have little sickers of the drivers favorite stars stuck on the front so he can see them as he’s driving and everyone knows all the stars and what moves they’ve been in. Adds are often done by the same few stars. I’ve been here for 6 weeks and I’m already pretty familiar with many of them. There’s Sharukh Khan, Salman Khan, Hrithik Roshan, Preity Zinta, Amitabh Bachchan, Kajol Devgan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai…

Not to say I’m famous but any foreigner, especially at non-tourist spots, may find themselves stared at incessantly. I’ve also been asked by a number of people to take a photo with them. Chelsea has too. A few people even got a two for one deal and have both of us in their picture. So funny. The photos and the staring I could do without. I have no idea how celebrities do it!

Well, I’m beginning to get tired of writing and I have no doubt you’re sick of reading so I’m going to stop now and let you see more pictures J.

As always, I love and miss you guys. The next post will hopefully come sooner and will be more specific about some of my recent adventure to tourist spots, including the Taj Mahal. Yahooo! Enjoy the photos below.

Cherry we were resting in a field after a long day of sightseeing.

A bit of a view of Delhi traffic. :)

Chelsea getting her first Mahindi from my friend Geeta. She is AMAZING at doing this and showed us the book from her training it was so very cool.

One of the families from church. They are in Mommy and Papa's group so they come over to our house on Tuesday nights. These kids are SO much fun and the mom, Kamla, made us some awesome idlys a few weeks ago with 3 types of sambar and my favorite, cocoanut chutney.

Two insanely cute kids.

One of the women from Sonia Vihar who got a loan to help increase the stock at her store. She is photographed here with two of her daughters.

Another woman from Sonia Vihar. I love this photo.

Some children sewing beads on a long piece of cloth. I'm not sure what this cloth is destined to be used for but I know they are going to sell it.

Two of the children of one of our lenders.

The 1st photo of Chelsea on her way to short hair. This woman did not want to cut it off.

The finished product. She took photos with her phone too to show people she had cut someone's hair short. VERY few women here have short hair. The woman who cut her hair also threaded our eyebrows. She was really pretty and did a really good job. I actually thought it felt kinda good and it only cost Rs. 10. That's 25 cents! I think you'd pay at least $7 in the US... oh how I'll miss India...

The Lovely Chelsea once here hair was all cut and styled a bit.

A man in the leprocy colony. He used to be a professor and spoke English. Such a cool guy.

Typical street view in Sonia Vihar and the leprosy colony Village of Hope.

A few of the adorable Village of Hope Children.

On the banks of the river where we were feeding some fish. They were CRAZY! For every little piece of bread you put in you would see 20 black fish wrestling over each other right on the surface for it. Wild!

Sion on his birthday. It is customary for a person of a higher rank to feed you on you birthday or other special occasions so Mommy gave him his first bite, and some facial decorations.

A bowl made out of leaves. We had melon and so my coworkers fished a stack of these out of a drawer and started using them like it was nothing. I almost died! They are SO cool. You can even rinse them off, let them dry and use 'em again! Way to go green India!